I tend to see you constantly, something stupid like a pen could remind me of you…a crisp packet could set my mind onto a railway of repeating images in a slide show followed by clips that my mind saved just so I didn’t forget… Sometimes I feel like the photographer at the back of a room I am holding a camera while I am chatting to you and without you realizing I am capturing every shot… Sometimes your words make me freeze, your presence makes me shake, I am smiling and hiding away the need of swallowing you… crossing my fingers hoping you cant see…
Some people say there’s a half of yourself somewhere but that other half cant be found because if you find it everything you know will switch itself… All the things you understand will turn sideways and all the rules you made in your head could be broken without a split second of thought… in other words you shouldn’t search for it because its forbidden.
Sometimes you remind me of a book, in a gigantic library there are books of many sizes, shapes, some of them have different sorts of material on the cover for some reason your cover stood out to me, but it was when I opened the first page that I got hooked, each paragraph consumes me deeper and deeper and every page is worth reading… I never put the book back in the shelf, every time I try to put it away there’s just something else pulling me in. The perfection of the words you use and the memorized clips become more realistic by the second and all I want to do is press repeat…
I hate that you know me so well, I hate that you see things in me that no one else sees, point things out that no one else has ever realized… Sometimes you speak for me before I give you a speech, other times you just notice when I fake a smile…
Everything about you just pulls me in… The perfection of the words you use and the memorized saved clips from my head become more realistic by the second and all I want to do is press repeat…
